“We Are The Three Best Friends That Anyone Could Have”… Navigating the World of Competitive Horse Shows With Three 13-Year-Old Girls

By: Brittany Bevis

For those parents out there who are blessed enough to be raising a teenager or two, you’re probably well-versed with the emotional roller coaster that includes raging hormones, Facebook drama, cellphone obsession, texting, tweeting, twerking and other seemingly foreign (to adults at least) forms of teenage expression. Add in the pressure-filled environment of competitive horse showing and it seems like you’re only asking for trouble.

Is it possible to raise a well-adjusted child in the world of competitive horse showing without losing your sanity? Elizabeth Brahler, Amy Thoma, and Melissa Vorreyer are doing their best. Although, they admit there’s no secret solution to maintaining family or barn harmony.

“When asked about advice we might give other parents who are struggling to raise their children in the world of competitive horse showing, I have no advice,” Elizabeth Brahler says. “We’re feeling our way as we go too!”

Brahler is the mother of 13-year-old Lydia Brahler who competes in AQHA novice youth and youth classes with her horse, Sure A Hot Krymsun, aka “Rudy.” Vorreyer is the mother of 13-year-old Payton Vorreyer who shows Skipped Two A Te, aka “Dean.” Thoma is the mother of 13-year-old Lauren Thoma who rides PS Surprise Card, aka “Polly.”

“They all three go to a Catholic grade school and met in kindergarten class,” Brahler says. “It wasn’t till second grade they discovered they all loved horses! They also play on softball, volleyball, and basketball teams at school as well as in competitive sports leagues.”

Our readers might remember these three ladies from a charming video we posted on our Facebook page last year that captured the girls singing their trademark theme song in between classes at the 2013 Quarter Horse Congress. The young trio is inseparable and their mothers strive to help maintain that “all for one and one for all” mentality.

“We all agree that a person can spend too much time, money, sweat and many many miles of hoofing it in cowgirl boots around horse show rings for it not to be a worthwhile and fun experience,” Brahler says. “We decide at the beginning of the year what shows we want to go back too or try. The only criteria for this decision is how fun it was last year. If we keep hearing from people how fun a show was, we will try and work it into our show calendar. It’s never based on how well we placed the year before.”

The girls’ mothers were raised on working farms in Illinois, so there’s a definite love of horses that’s been passed down to their daughters. Beginning in small fry competition as tiny tots and rising up the ranks to compete at the AQHA Youth World Show and Quarter Horse Congress, the girls have always been competitors and best friends.

“A question [frequently] posed to each of us moms is, ‘Is it hard to watch the girls show against each other?'” Brahler says. “I can honestly say it was more of a concern when they were younger riders showing in small fry classes. As a mom, you’re looking out in the show ring and there might be three or four little riders. The classes are so small; it’s pretty obvious the difference between first place and last. They were all on good horses, so we had a nice rotation on placings, thank goodness!”

“Now they’re older, and they have been showing for several years. They all ride together at the barn several times a week and they see the different challenges that each one encounters with their own horse. They understand, admire, and are even inspired, when one of them can overcome a particular issue with their own horse.”

While the camaraderie of this little group is certainly inspiring, that doesn’t mean it’s been smooth sailing all the way. These are 13-year-old girls after all… Brahler comments that the girls’ friendship doesn’t put a damper on their drive to succeed in the show pen; it only intensifies it.

“Being a mom, that was one of the best lessons they have learned from each other so far,” she says. “It’s a lesson that most of us adults can struggle with. How in the middle of our own anger and unhappiness can we be open-hearted enough to wish a co-worker, family member, or in this case a friend, congratulations on their happiness in the middle of our disappointment? These girls learned that lesson early on- how to be a selfless person. It’s one of the proudest accomplishments, in or out of the pen, hands down, for us moms to witness.”

Furthermore, the group’s focus on fun and mutual appreciation doesn’t mean the girls aren’t competitive.

• All of the girls have won multiple circuit and all-around championships
• All of the girls have qualified for multiple classes at the AQHA Youth World Show
• All of the girls were given places on the Illinois World Youth Team
• All of the girls have placed at the Congress in at least one class, if not multiple times

“Don’t get me wrong,” says Amy Thoma. “They all love winning, but they are very happy for each other when the other has a great ride. They all work very hard to prepare for their shows and all have the mindset that sometimes you gain more from a tough ride than you do from an easy win. They are a team. If one of the girls has a lame horse, the other has gone as far as to let [their friend] ride her horse in a class. The healthy competition makes all of the girls better riders, and the horses bring another element to their friendship that bonds the girls even more.”

Traveling around the country with three teenagers in tow has provided its share of entertaining moments. As the mothers joke, you can often hear the girls coming before you ever see them. Brahler remembers one occasion when an orthodontic malfunction provided an entertaining moment for everyone at the horse show.

“Lydia had just gotten her braces on her teeth,” Brahler says. “Halfway into the four-day show, a wire popped off her bracket in the very back of her mouth. The wire was super sharp. We put a tissue, gum, and wax on it, but nothing was working. Of course, our doctor’s office was closed, and Lydia had reached her pain threshold. She was begging me to pull the wire out… Well, I have two expert moms/friends on either side of me saying, ‘Just reach in there with pliers, grab the end, and pull it out!’ The first problem was that all we had was these large horse pliers, but desperate times call for desperate measures!”

“We sanitized them with a wet wipe, Lauren used her iPhone flashlight to shine into Lydia’s mouth, and we laid Lydia back into this reclining chair. As we started pulling on the wire, she was really getting pretty upset. The trail class started in the arena we were right by. I’ll never forget looking up and seeing someone doing their trail pattern and all three of the judges’ attention was totally focused on us. We did finally get it clipped thanks to the help of a wonderful nurse who came down after hearing all the commotion. That was a classic horse show moment!”

Another time, the girls offered their two cents (in the truly honest way only a child can) about the fact that their friend did the wrong pattern.

“One time, Lydia came out of the show pen with her face looking dejected,” Brahler says. “She said to us,’I did the pattern wrong.’ Payton said, ‘It really looked pretty good for being wrong.’ Lauren piped in and said, “Yea, I’ve seen worse.’ Lydia looked up and started laughing. She said, ‘Thanks guys, you are really great friends.’ At that moment, having them there made it better.”

 Although there’s no tried and true method for helping your troubled teenagers turn into well-adjusted adults, the mothers have made a few observations over the years that might help.

“If your child wants to try a goofy fun class, let them,” Brahler says. “I have found it helps the child relax and have fun in the show pen.”

“If you see a group of children, encourage your child to get to know them. I suggest parents do the same. Walk down and meet those other moms or dads. As parents, the one thing we have in common is that we love to watch our children take part in this wonderful sport of horse showing. We have all learned that going into something with friends by your side is always better than going it alone!”

In closing, we’d like to leave you with a quote from Lydia Brahler who commented about what showing with her best friends means to her.

“Showing with my best friends means I always have a place on the rail; there are at least two other people that won’t cut me off in the pen,” she says. “I’ll always have a spot in the line up, and, when I place, I know at least two people are clapping behind me as I walk up.”

“If I don’t do well, I’ll have two sets of arms to hug me when I come out. That’s what showing with them means to me.”

To all the best friends out there…