EC Blog – Litte Girl Horse Dreams Never Die

An EC blog by Joan Ames

Little girl horse dreams never die.  She never stops looking for the pretty horse.  The talented horse.  The one that will take her to the winner’s circle.  But there is a lot that gets in her way.  School.  Job.  Relationship. Marriage.  Children. Just life in general.  She puts it all before herself.  Her dream gets pushed to the back shelf.  That horse she dreams of riding is ridden by her child.  She stands in win pictures, but that buckle is not hers to wear.  She does the planning, the budgeting, the laundry, the boot shining, the cooking, and the haul home as the rider sleeps to the sound of the tires humming.  If buckles were won for those things, she would fill a wall with them. And she tells herself “Someday it might be me.  Someday.”

When “Someday” comes she learns it is harder.  Taking time away from family, job and home is hard.  She feels guilty taking the time to do this on her own.  Her spouse has other interests.  They know she can do it on her own.  After all, she did it for years already.  Her children have their own lives.  How many times did she cheer them on or cheer them up when the day did not go very well?  She learns to root for herself and to find the positive in a less than stellar go.  She is her biggest fan and her worst critic.  She learns a bit more about who she is and she is proud of herself.

She also has found out the added years have made this journey a bit more arduous.  Remembering the patterns is harder.  Running in dirt calls for the “do not fall” prayer.  Her timing with her horse is delayed.  Those damn chaps keep shrinking.  It is all just plain harder.

What keeps her going?  It is the feeling of being on a horse just like when she was little.  Her dream does not age.  It gets dusty and ages sitting on that shelf, but it is there.  Waiting.  And when she decides she is worthy of all the aspects of showing, she finds her tribe.  The people that train, coach, cheer her on and are there when life makes it even harder to show.  She knows they are her people.  She might feel a bit alone sometimes but once at the show the camaraderie commences.  Early morning coffee shared.  Good luck wishes abound.  “How did it go?” as you come back to the stall.  Good or bad, they want to hear.  Dinners, drinks, and laughter as she sits sweaty, dirty and tired at the end of the day with her people.   She is never alone at the show, and they make it easier.  Just a person to hold an iron as you mount up makes all the difference some days.

So, for all you out there with those dreams sitting in the dark getting dusty, it is time to dust it off.  You will find your tribe.  You will find that little spark to light the flame to guide your journey.  And you will not be alone.  Like her, you will be seen and cheered on.  She has found out that being older in the pen is a sweet ride.  And she savors even the bad days because she is living her little dream.