Kids Say The Darnedest Things

By: Brittany Bevis

You can always count on a child to speak his or her mind. Whether it’s something sweet, hilarious, or totally outrageous, kids always speak the truth.

When it comes to equestrian kiddos, the effect is even more noticeable, as they often have very funny things to say about their horses and horse showing in general.

Recently, we asked our Equine Chronicle readers to share the moments when they heard a kid say something hilarious. Scroll below to read them all.

We can’t make this stuff up…

Jessica Schmidt– “Our 3-year-old son showed for the first time this year. During Showmanship, he got distracted by a few of the dirt clods while approaching the judge. He stopped, as did the horse, halfway to the judge to loudly ask, ‘Is this one poop or a rock? Because I want to pick it up.’ He picked it up. It wasn’t poop.”

Casey Engelhorn– “I was helping my brother show in EWD Western Pleasure at our 4-H show. The judge came up after the class and asked him the horse’s name, to which he replied, ‘His name is Buster. I like horses, but I’m more of a reptile guy.’ Another time I was helping him show and when asked the horse’s age, he said, ‘I’m 14 and he’s 2 years younger then me. You do the math.’ Not the way to win over the judges buddy! We’ve all had great laughs with him. You never know what’s going to come out of his mouth.”

Christine Meng– “Once during a leadline class, my daughter, when asked by the judges what breed her horse was, proudly declared, ‘Oh that’s easy! He’s a unicorn!’”

Amy Ferguson– “The ring steward offered my kid a dollar in the Leadline lineup and told him he could buy some candy with it. My kid replied, ‘Only after I eat my protein!’”

Hanna Hussey– “This summer, my 5-year-old niece told me she wanted to show in Leadline. So I found a couple of open shows on back to back weekends that would be close for my sister to bring her to. We showed the first weekend and she won! She wanted to go again the next weekend, so we did. She won that weekend too. After the class was over, the judge was congratulating and bragging on her, and she replied with, ‘Yeah, all I do is win. I just keep winning and winning.’ The judge just looked at me, and I didn’t know what to say so I just laughed.”

Jen Bulger– “My son started showing in walk trot when he was three. The judge asked him where he learned to ride so well and he said, ‘God just made me a cowboy.’”

Hannah Michaels– “My nephew told me that the draft horses he was feeding watermelon to had eaten enough, because they might get too fat.”

Mary Glass– “When my younger sister went for kindergarten screening, the teacher asked her if she had a pony. She said no. The teacher didn’t think she was ready for school yet, because of her answer. When my mom asked her why she told the teacher she didn’t have a pony, she said, ‘Because I have a horse.’”

Rachael Kristen– “My 5-year-old daughter told the judge ‘probably not’ when asked if she thought she could remember a verbally given Showmanship pattern.”

Ally Brinkmann– “We were doing Leadline at an open show where there were some draft horses. My son walked into the makeup pen, saw them, and loudly said, ‘Hey! Their foots are hairy!’”

Nikki Coates-Schultz– “When my son was little and showing in Leadline, the judge asked if his Dad had won the buckle he was wearing. He burst out, ‘No, my Mom did. My Dad doesn’t know how to ride horses!’”

Rebecca Aumann– “When my daughter did Leadline, we taught her to say, ‘How was my go?’ She added a goofy ‘wink’ that looked more like she was having a stroke.”

Jessica Pickford– “I had a lesson kid showing at one of her first shows. She was maybe 5 or 6. She went into Showmanship and honestly I can’t even remember how the pattern went, but she had always struggled with the setup. Well, this old mare took care of her and set right up at the judge. The kid was shocked. She looked at the judge and asked, ‘I know I’m not supposed to touch her in the show pen, but that was really good! Can I give her a pat?’ The judge completely melted and gave her permission. The horse got a big good girl pat, and she went on showing.”

Tammy Gagliardo– “We were showing in Leadline at an AQHA show in Hamburg, NY, when a young man shouts at the top of his lungs, ‘I want to be a Cowboy! Yee Haw!’ All the while, he was circling his free hand above his head. The entire arena broke out into laughter.”

Connie Benjaminson– “We were showing in Leadline at the state fair. It was the Appaloosa show. The judge asked my daughter what her favorite horse was. She said Paints. We have never owned a Paint.”

DaLaine Donaldson- “When I was a walk-trotter, back in the day, my mare would try to break her trot in the corners. I had to wear spurs to keep her going, and she was visually not a fan of the spurs, as she would ring her tail, pin those ears, and sometimes a lil’ air nip showing her annoyance with the situation. I recall one of those times. A judge saw this happen and decided to ask me after I executed my back in the center of the arena. ‘Hey there lil’ cowgirl. What happened over there in the corner?’ My response was, ‘Oh, that? She just needed an iron injection.’ He doubled over with laughter and I had no clue what was so darn funny. He followed my mare and I over to my grandfather, who looked just as confused as I was and asked the judge, they were old friends, what’s was so funny?’ The judge told him what I had said about the ‘iron injection’ in the corner, and my grandfather chuckled as he responded, ‘She might have heard me say that a few times!’ I’ll never forget that!”

Be sure to answer our EC Question of the Week to be included in a future article on www.EquineChronicle.com.