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The ties that bind a family together are sometimes not genetic.
By Erica Greathouse
The term “family” means different things to different people. The nuclear family, which consists of a pair of adults and their biological offspring, is no longer the social norm in our society. In the horse world, it’s no different. This new type of family, the “blended” family, brings together people from different backgrounds and bloodlines to form an entirely unique family unit. Their paths might cross later in life, in some cases, but their love for one another is strong, despite lacking a biological connection. For families in the horse industry, taking care of horses and traveling to horse shows helps develop a sense of unity. Through these activities, families are united by their mutual love of horses.
The Veldman family has always had a passion for horses. Both daughters, Carly and Julie, with the support of their parents, Tom and Anita, grew up showing in APHA competition and have many accolades to show for their dedication to the sport. The girls grew up cheering each other on at horse shows, and the experiences made their sisterly bond very strong. As they grew older, Julie decided to pursue a career in the legal field and Carly’s love for horses eventually developed into a professional horse training career. She and her husband, Wade Parks, now operate Parks Show Horses in Colbert, Georgia.
The Veldman family dynamic changed when Carly and Julie acquired their adopted sister, Rose. Tom and Anita met and fell in love with Rose while volunteering at a Haitian orphanage that was home to 60 other children. They were automatically drawn to Rose’s vibrant personality and natural leadership skills. When the Veldman family returned from their trip, Anita couldn’t stop talking about Rose. In fact, most of her stories and pictures from the trip featured their soon-to-be family member. A few months later, a devastating earthquake rocked the people of Haiti. The Veldmans were immediately concerned about the orphanage and the children, especially Rose. Anita promptly contacted the orphanage to check on the damage. Sadly, one of the orphans died in the earthquake. Another, Rose, lost her legs. Anita knew that she needed to get Rose to the United States to get the medical care she needed. Rose came to live with the Veldmans temporarily, because at that time, adoption was not an option. After a couple of years of taking care of Rose and getting her comfortable with her prosthetic legs, there was no question that she had become part of the Veldman family, and they wanted to formally adopt her. However, the adoption process proved to be more complicated than they originally thought. After jumping through hoops and asking for exceptions to multiple rules, the Veldmans were finally able to welcome Rose to the family.
Carly fondly remembers the first time she met Rose at a horse show in Indiana, just five days after she arrived in the United States from Haiti. She didn’t speak English, had never seen electricity, and clearly grew up in a very different environment. Despite these differences, they immediately bonded through Rose’s instant love for horses. “Cloverdale was probably one of my greatest memories as Rose’s sister, but probably the worst job I have ever done as a horse trainer at a show,” Carly says. “Rose was with me on every horse. Every time I would try to put her down, she would scream. She didn’t speak any English, so it was hard to communicate, but it was clear that she loved the horses right away. So many people helped me at the show by letting her ride with them, when she wasn’t riding with me, so I could get my job done. I’m pretty sure Rose was on a horse all weekend.” Rose has since become a permanent fixture at the barn and horse shows.
Carly fondly recalls the first time Rose came to the barn. “I wanted her to ride one of the broke show horses, but she wasn’t interested. Instead, she immediately fell in love with Pumpkin (One Sensational Cowgirl) who, at the time, was a three-year-old, deaf, and somewhat unpredictable mare. Rose didn’t care that she wasn’t allowed to ride Pumpkin, she just wanted to be around her.” It seems as though Rose knew that Pumpkin was destined to become a part of the family. Six months later, Carly fell in love with the horse, realized what Rose saw, and developed her potential. She then became the newest member of the Veldman family. Rose has since shown Pumpkin in youth mares and, according to Carly, she was beaming the whole time. Carly is quick to point out that Rose is also turning into an amazing rider. Her prosthetic legs are so advanced that you might not even notice she has them. Rose is now a normal teenager who loves hanging out with her family and friends. She looks forward to the APHA World Show, where she can be seen sporting one of Pumpkin’s championship buckles with her name engraved on the front. She was even featured in the candid section of a magazine while wearing her buckle. Her reaction was priceless when she saw her photo and exclaimed, “I look smokin’ hot!”
Spending time around horses has really brought Rose out of her shell and has given the family an activity in which to bond and make memories. In addition, Rose has given Carly a newfound appreciation for being around horses every day. “Rose’s interaction with the horses has helped me appreciate my horses even more. You can put Rose on any horse and their whole demeanor changes. It’s almost as if they know they need to take care of her, and it’s amazing to watch.” During breeding season, the Veldman family keeps a constant group text going with pictures of the mares and their new arrivals. It brings the family a lot of joy to share these precious moments together. Carly sums it all up by saying, “horses and horse showing have really brought my family together over the years and have now helped welcome and integrate Rose into the family.”
The Smith Family
Showing horses has always been a family activity for the Smiths, but it’s the blending of two family units that makes their dynamic story unique. When Nancy and Kevin Smith married, they joined their lives and brought their children together. Kevin, the father of Cody, Torrie, and Kevin Jr., and Nancy, the mother of Peyton Weldon, immediately bonded through their love of horses. Kevin is quick to credit the horses with helping their family form a bond that saw past terms like “biological” or “stepchild.”
“The whole horse situation for us has been a family process. Whether it was riding, doing chores, or getting ready for a horse show, the horses and horse showing drew everyone together around a common goal,” Kevin says.
Although the older siblings grew up, and horses weren’t always the focus, they helped teach and pave the way for Peyton to grow and be successful in competition from an early age. Her passion for horses and horse showing continues to the present day. “The door that was opened through the teamwork of the siblings, when they were younger, has translated to Peyton’s drive to succeed and continue pursuing her love of horses and horse showing,” Kevin says. Nancy says this dynamic among her children, “made Peyton more family-oriented and made her want to stay with her family on the weekends and during her free time, when most kids her age were off with their friends doing other things. The horse shows were something we did together as a family and that has continued through her youth and now amateur career.”
Peyton’s siblings are now older and have started families of their own. Keeping the family tradition, she has taken on the role of teaching their children how to ride. “It’s as if the entire family dynamic has gone full circle,” Kevin says. “They taught Peyton how to ride and take responsibility around the barn, and now she is teaching their children the same lessons she learned from them. There is no barrier that says we’re not blood-related. We are family through and through.” When asked if there is a specific memory that sticks out in his mind, when he and Peyton bonded through horse showing, Kevin recalls the APHA Fall Championship show in 2014. He had been having some medical issues that landed him in the hospital and was unable to participate in the show preparations. To further complicate matters, they were unable to find a catch rider to show Peyton’s horse in Senior Hunter Hack. “I told Peyton that she needed to show her horse herself. I know she was intimidated to compete against the open riders, but since we had no rider and she knows her horse better than anyone else, I encouraged her to overcome her fear and do her best.” Luckily, Kevin was able to get out of the hospital to watch Peyton deliver an amazing performance on her horse and give her a hug on the rail when she was named the Reserve World Champion. “Peyton was crying. When she hugged me, it was a defining moment. We had both been through tribulations, and we got to share that moment together,” he says.
Kevin also fondly remembers Peyton’s very first World Championship when she was just seven years old. “After her win, people were congratulating her. She really didn’t seem to understand the magnitude of what she had accomplished. Finally, after a day or so, she came up to me and asked me what they were talking about.” Kevin says Peyton didn’t understand how important her big win was because the focus in their family has never been on winning. “The focus is and always has been the participation in the family sport and spending time with one another. That’s the big prize.”
The Yarnelle Family
The Yarnelle brand is one of the most recognizable symbols in the industry, known for their stallions’ winning offspring and numerous awards in the show pen. John and his wife, Kathy, stand six stallions at their farm in Fort Wayne, Indiana: Special Invitation, CR Good Machine, Big Money Impulse, I Prefer Chocolate, Only Krymsun, and Guaranteed. What makes this operation truly remarkable is the constant teamwork by the entire family that keeps everything running successfully.
John and Kathy have always shared a mutual love for family. Immediately after getting married, they started a family of their own. Their three daughters, Hannah, Sarah, and Brooke were amazing additions to their lives. After having three children, John and Kathy made a permanent decision not to have any more children. Kathy explains, “My sister was very sick with leukemia and ended up passing away. Our oldest, Hannah, had to have a surgery due to a birth defect in her intestines. Also, we were busy with the horses and on the road showing all the time, and I was still working outside the home as a dental hygienist. It was overwhelming, but we were grateful for all that we had, so we made the decision not to have any more children.” However, a few years later, after things settled down, John and Kathy found themselves wishing they could have more children, and they began to consider the possibility of adoption. “I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for adoption,” Kathy says. “My father went through the foster care system and was never adopted, and I was always aware of what a blessing it is to adopt a child and give them a loving family.” John and Kathy were apprehensive at first. Even though they wanted more children, they knew they needed a lot more information about adoption and were looking for a sign to show them that they were making the right decision. “We happened to take our kids to a local library for books, and we literally ran right into this sign advertising an informational meeting on adoption scheduled for the next week. We took that as the sign we were looking for that we needed to learn more about the adoption process and consider the option for our family,” John says. After attending the meeting, they knew right away that they were going to adopt.
All three of their sons were adopted from Guatemala. Unfortunately, their first son, Seth, passed away after two years. Kathy vividly remembers the outpouring of love from the horse community after they lost Seth. “We were getting calls, cards, and flowers from people we had never even met. It was beautiful to have so many people care about us during such a tough time.” They also adopted two more boys, Luke and Eli, who have integrated very well into the Yarnelle Family. John points out that these kids are just as much of a blessing to their family as they are to the children themselves. “People are always telling us that we’re so awesome and that we’ve changed their lives. I’m quick to correct them and tell them that we’re the ones who are blessed to have these kids enriching our lives.” When asked if there are any differences between their relationships with their biological and adopted children, Kathy says, “to us, there is no difference between our biological and adopted children. We may not all look alike, but our bond is exactly the same.” In fact, the Yarnelle’s lives have been so enriched through the adoption process that their oldest daughter, Hannah, who has two biological children of her own, has expressed her desire to add to her family through adoption.
The whole family shares a love and respect for horses and the family business. They work together to keep the busy operation go-ing on a daily basis. “We’re not a typical family. We’re very close and all of our kids are here with us on the farm helping out every day.” Their girls: Hannah, 24; Sarah, 21; and Brooke, 18, and sons: Luke, 9; and Eli, 8, all spend time at the barn doing various chores like paperwork, cleaning stalls, and helping out in the breeding barn.
John and Kathy are quick to add that horses aren’t the only activity their family does together. “On Sundays, after church, we go to Luke and Eli’s flag football games. It’s a huge family event, and we all show up to every game. For us, every activity we do involves family, and we wouldn’t have it any other way,” John says. Although life for the Yarnelle family is busy, they credit their horses for keeping them together and giving each family member a job and united interest in the family business. John says fondly, “our lives are so full and busy all the time, and we’re constantly working, but we do it together as a family and we get to work together. It helps keep our family together and strengthens our bond on a daily basis.”