Life Lessons From an Equine
EC Blog by: Jessica Zonkle
Anyone who knows me well will tell you I tend to over-think way too much. I never stop… the clock’s always ticking and my mind is traveling in five different directions at once. While sometimes it can work in my favor, it’s usually my downfall.
Growing up I always admired horses: their beauty, their grace and the pureness of their souls. There is something about forming a partnership with a 1,200 lb animal that is riveting, empowering and humbling all at the same time. As a kid, when I rode around on numerous lesson ponies, I never realized the valuable life lessons these creatures teach us. That is until I embarked on my own journey with a 3-year-old Quarter Horse mare and discovered that everything she would teach me can apply to my own life.
As human beings, we delve into the complexities of life and try to unravel every little aspect we can’t understand. Sometimes, we forget and overlook the simple things. Yes, the little stuff. Instead of wallowing through the grey area, things can still be black and white.
As one of my favorite horsemen of all time has said, “The horse is so honest. They live in the moment. And what they do, whether they need to protect themselves or whether they need to accept you, is really directly relative to how you make them feel.”
It is true. With horses, everything you do is based on feel. The horse will move off of pressure, whether your hands, your seat or your legs provide it. The horse’s reward to properly responding is the release of pressure. Ah, the release! I can’t tell you how many times my trainer has said to me, “release the pressure, give back, you can’t keep taking and not give back.”
While I thought the whole time I was training my mare, in fact, she has been training me. If I constantly nag her with pressure and no release, she shuts down, she gets frustrated and falls apart. We don’t look like a team. In that moment, I lose her, and she is no longer focused on me. When I release her of the pressure, I get better results. She responds, and she responds well. Sometimes I just have to let her be and trust her.
Today while riding, it was a “lightbulb” moment where this mechanism paralleled with other things I struggle with in regards to certain relationships in my life. This is where I run into trouble with other aspects of my life and not just with my horse. I can’t always get my way without ever giving back or letting go. No one responds well to that constant pressure.
When watching a rider and their horse truly in sync, they give the illusion of something so effortless. My mare is teaching me that I need to live in the moment more. The beauty of working with horses is that each day is a clean slate. So what if you had a bad ride last time, couldn’t nail that 360 degree turn, or pick up the right lead every lope-off. Tomorrow is another day. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
The sorority motto that was engrained in my mind during my college days is “nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring.” If you bring your past baggage under saddle each ride, it will ruin you. How does this relate to other areas of life? If you dwell in the past, hold grudges or can’t learn to let go, it won’t work out too well for you. It is impossible to live in two places at once. Live for right now. While it is impractical to go backwards and try to change the past, we are always able to go forward, learn from it and most importantly strive to become a better person.
