Baseball Wives- Riding High in Their Own Field Of Dreams
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— Riding High in Their Own Field of Dreams —
[Since this article was published, Jeremy Affeldt has retired from the San Francisco Giants. We wish Jeremy and Larisa the best of luck in their future endeavors!]
by: Kristen Spinning
Larisa Affeldt keeps a schedule that would make most heads spin, yet she finds a way to balance showing horses with raising three boys and supporting her husband through the highs and lows of professional sports. Jeremy Affeldt is a relief pitcher for the San Francisco Giants where he was a member of the 2010, 2012 and 2014 World Series Championship teams. He has also played for Kansas City, the Colorado Rockies, and the Cincinnati Reds.
Jeremy’s life, like any baseball player, is centered on the team. His game and practice schedule is extremely demanding, providing very little down time. Larisa praises Jeremy for doing a fantastic job as a dad and husband, even though he can’t be there all the time. However, it does leave a great deal of the daily work to Larisa. She admits that there is no way she could do it all by herself. “I need people who love my kids like I do and who are willing to help.” She feels very fortunate that she has had two wonderful nannies. They became good friends and part of the family. That’s something that can be in short supply for players. She explains, “baseball dictates where we live and for how long, so we often end up in towns where we don’t have any family or friends who can help.”
Larisa was always very competitive. She got her first horse when she was eight and started showing in 4-H soon after. She recalls, “one Christmas, the 4-H group gave out hand-painted ornaments. The one I was given said on it, ‘Most Competitive Rider.’ I was so focused I think I forgot to smile at people.”
These days, Larisa is focusing on competing in all-around classes, showing multiple Congress Champion “Bob,” aka Huntin My Zipper, under the guidance of Nancy Renfro. Bob and Larisa are gunning to be serious competitors at the big shows. “That’s always been my long-term goal,” she says. The pair recently claimed a World Champion title in Novice Amateur Hunter Under Saddle at the NSBA World Show. Bob also qualified for the AQHA World Show in Amateur and Junior Hunter Under Saddle, as well as Junior Western Riding.
Although Larisa wasn’t necessarily looking for a new horse at the 2014 Quarter Horse Congress, she was keeping her eye out for a solid all-around candidate. “I always thought it would come in a western package. So when Nancy told me what horse she wanted me to try, it wasn’t what I had envisioned. But when I got on him, it all clicked—this was the horse I was looking for.” The stars definitely aligned for that deal to come together. “My husband was in the World Series at the time. I talked to him and said, ‘honey, you know that World Series bonus check you get? I think I found what I would like to spend it on…,’” she says with a smile.
Oftentimes, Larisa and Jeremy are pursuing their dreams at the same time and on different sides of the country, yet they stay connected as much as possible. “I can’t be there for every game. Especially in October, baseball is so hard to keep up with. The playoffs last for a month. Whether I was showing horses or not, I don’t know that I would want to travel for every game.”
As a relief pitcher, Jeremy isn’t on the mound for every game. Larisa will often get a text when he is going in. She recalls at last year’s Congress when Jeremy was in the World Series, “I was warming up for Horsemanship, one of those late night practice sessions, when my phone dinged. I put the game on and Nancy and I were hovered over my phone in the middle of the arena listening to the play-by-play.” Nancy is a big Giants fan as well.
Larisa has picked up a trick or two from Jeremy’s experience as an elite athlete, especially when it comes to handling nerves and staying focused. The main lesson from the big leagues has been to focus her energy on the things she can control, and let go of the things you cannot. She drew the analogy, “In baseball, you can’t control if the umpire is going to call a ball or a strike. You can’t control if the hitter connects or misses. So, stay focused on doing your best at that moment.” In the arena, it’s much the same, “I try to control my horse, but they do have a mind of their own! You practice and train so that you know how your horse is going to react in situations, and you know how to support them.” Her counsel to any rider is, “do the best you can and enjoy it. The judges want to see you have a good ride. If something doesn’t go your way, keep moving forward.”
The Affeldt children are somewhat interested in horses, but don’t have the same passion Larisa had as a kid. They like to brush, pet, and give treats, but that’s about it. She says, “When I was that age, you couldn’t keep me off a horse. I’d climb on bareback if I had to. At first, I wanted them to do this with me, hoping they would love it as much as I do. Now, I realize it’s my time to get away on my own.” She hopes that someday her boys will find something they are as passionate about as she is for horses, or Jeremy is about baseball. As dynamic and supportive parents, they will be right alongside, cheering them on to pursue their own dreams.
Brandy Halladay
Brandy Halladay is an accomplished horsewoman who has been an active and successful exhibitor for a long time. However, you haven’t seen her in the show ring for nearly three years. Family is first and foremost in her life these days. Currently, she devotes time to her two boys, who are very active in school and little league, and to her husband, Roy, who is busier than ever now that he is “retired.” Brandy and her husband were able to use his sports celebrity to promote causes that are very special to them including horse and dog rescue. Those passions take a good deal of her time as well.
She describes herself as, “just a housewife with a really cool hobby.” Her focus means that horses have taken a back seat. She says, “I love Quarter Horses and always will, but it will never be my first priority. You only get a couple years to be a kid, and I only get a couple years to be with them.”
Her husband, Roy “Doc” Halladay, was a pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays and the Philadelphia Phillies. The two-time Cy Young Award winner’s career spanned between 1998 and 2013. The couple has known each other since they were little kids. They worked very hard to keep a normal lifestyle and consistent environment for their children while Roy was playing.
Many people assume that the lifestyle of professional athletes is filled with glitz and glamour, overlooking the reality that it is a job with many of the demands and headaches we all struggle with daily. As with any career that involves frequent travel, much falls on the shoulders of the spouse at home. “It’s hard,” she asserts. “You’re alone a lot. You’re the one who has to get the kids up, get the groceries, and make sure that homework gets done. You’re the one changing the oil in the car because your husband isn’t home.”
Brandy had ridden horses since she was a kid and they continued to be an important part of her life through the years. She found a level of peace and calmness with them that balanced out her hectic life. She fell into showing horses at the age of 30 when she was looking for something more to do with her equine friends. She earned herself an AQHA Rookie of the Year Award, but more importantly, she loved the challenge and the people. She says, “Showing is fun, but for me, going to the barn and being around the horses is so much more important.” There was another big bonus as well. “What you do in the outside world is not how you’re known,” she says. Brandy loved the show world because she wasn’t known as a baseball star’s wife. She continues, “Everyone knew me as Brandy. In the baseball world, I was always ‘Roy’s wife.’ Around the horses it was ‘oh, that’s Brandy’s husband.’ No big deal.” Showing also worked well for her horses during the baseball years. Having horses with a trainer ensured that they were getting what they needed even when she was traveling with Roy.
“I’ll never be the high point champion,” she laughs, “That won’t ever be me.” It’s not that Brandy lacks the drive or motivation; she simply channels it in a different direction. She says, “Winning is nice, but at the same time I’m more interested in how well I’m personally improving.” She shares that there were times she walked out of the arena with a first place ribbon very frustrated because she didn’t feel she did her best. On other occasions, she would be elated regardless of class placement because she overcame an issue or fixed a problem. Still, Brandy admits she would be thrilled to come home with a Congress trophy some day.
If something needs to be fixed, Brandy’s the one who will get up and do it. That spirit translates to how she approaches horses. Brandy emphasizes, “I can’t expect somebody riding my horse to fix the problem. I need to know how to do it. I can’t show up on Friday night and put on a pretty shirt and expect to do well in Western Pleasure on Saturday morning. I have to do the work. I need to earn it.” That belief is the very reason she hasn’t been showing the past couple years. Yet the pull of horses is still so strong that she hasn’t been able to sever the cord. “The horses I have now are two great horses,” she says with obvious devotion. “It’s difficult to watch them sit. I’m at that point when I have to decide ‘do I let them go or do I try to do this again’. I’m searching for that middle ground where I can be the kind of mom I want to be and still have something for myself.”
Her horses are currently with the Griffith family in Ohio. She says, “If I want to ride, I know they’ll be ready, and if not, they are still getting out there.” Dakota Diamond Griffith will show her English horse at the Congress. Brandy regrets she’ll have to make a decision after Congress as to what to do next. No matter what’s in store for her in the future, it’s certain she will approach it with the same exuberance she brings to everything she does.
Alexandra Chavez
Alexandra Chavez met her husband Eric at a baseball game when she was eighteen. A year later, they married, and the fun-loving, dynamic pair has been on the move ever since.
Eric Chavez made his major league debut with the Oakland Athletics in 1998 and went on to win six Golden Glove Awards with the team. The third baseman also played for the Yankees and finished out his career with the Arizona Diamondbacks in 2014. Alex and Eric are similar in that they’re both very competitive, and they flood their pursuits with enthusiasm. “We both strive to be our best,” she says.
Baseball dominated their daily lives from February through October, but the couple had a few months each year to themselves to do what they wanted. “During those first years, we traveled all over the world and got to experience so many wonderful things. In many ways, we grew up together,” she says. She loved traveling and would often be on the road with Eric, or would fly back home to visit family. “Getting on an airplane twice a week was normal for me.” Once they had kids, it was the same. She recalls, “they came with us everywhere. We were constantly packing them onto airplanes.” If the children weren’t traveling to a game, they were often headed to a horse show.
Spring training brought the Chavez family to Arizona where they settled into a gorgeous home complete with an air-conditioned batting cage and locker room. Alex’s equine endeavors were growing, as was her time spent at the barn. She says, “I was running back and forth all the time. Eric suggested we look for a home where we could keep the horses.” It just so happened a property was available not far from them and it had a 12 stall barn. Eric happily traded his air-conditioning for an outdoor batting cage in support of Alex’s dreams.
Major League’s biggest games and major horse shows often collide making life even more interesting. “I would have to juggle the Congress with the playoffs,” she says, recalling how she would have to dash from a class to the airport to fly out for a game. “I wanted to make it to the games as a family because that’s something really important to us.”
Though Alex skillfully managed the organized chaos for years without complaint, she admits that it’s a little easier now that Eric is retired. “It gives me more freedom to go and do my things without having to worry about someone being there for the kids.” She quips, “he can take over the mom role from time to time.” This past summer, Alex, the kids, the nanny, dogs, and cat piled into a toy hauler and made the show rounds while Eric was crisscrossing the country on scouting trips for the Yankees. “We lived out of the trailer in a type of glorified camping, roasting marshmallows and hanging with other families. The kids had a blast,” she says with a smile.
Simply being around her horses rejuvenates Alex. “I think there is a piece of mind that horses bring over you,” she shares. “To me, they’re comforting. It calms me, centers me, and brings me back to reality. It’s like yoga — that one thing I get excited about every day to go do.”
Alex sees a number of parallels between baseball and the horse world. She says, “I do think there is a lot of team camaraderie in showing. Everyone generally wants the best for each other.” She believes that, “just like in baseball, there’s always another game; with horses, there’s always another show. You keep going and don’t get down because of one bad ride. We work all year for the October and November shows. We may have to fix something during the first couple months, but we’re aiming for the best result in the fall. The same is true for baseball. You may have to tweak things after a game, but the goal is the playoffs and World Series.” She views both worlds as very goal-oriented, requiring a great deal of commitment and dedication to succeed. She adds that one shouldn’t overlook raw talent. Some people can naturally communicate with a horse really well, just as some people have a different eye for a ball.
Alex will bring a number of horses to the Congress this year, including her 2-year-old Hunter Under Saddle horse. Pretty Assets, who Troy Lehn will show in the Open. Troy recently piloted the filly to a World Champion title in the NSBA 2 Year-Old Limited Open Hunter Under Saddle. Alex’s 2-year-old Masters horse, Hoos Got Legs, will be shown by Katie Jo. Also, you can catch her all-around horse, Only In Showbiz, in Horsemanship and Western Riding.
The Chavez family has built a life full of successes by supporting each other. Mutual respect, passion and a centering belief that the journey should be fun has been a winning combination in both their fields of dreams.
